extrajordanary:


If this doesn’t mean anything to you, please listen to this priceless piece of comedy immediately.

extrajordanary:

If this doesn’t mean anything to you, please listen to this priceless piece of comedy immediately.

(via bamfcory)


horror movie opening scene

white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
white boy: lmao
they continue walking for a few seconds
*white couple hears noise*
white girl: babe what that??
white boy: i'll go investigate
*leaves her alone*
*choking noises*
white girl: zack!!!
white boy: ha ha just kidding!
white girl: asshole!
white boy: im just playin babe
white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
*playful kiss*
*things turn sexy*
*hear noise*
white boy: i'll go investigate
*he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
*maybe a thud*
white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
*she walks and he dead*
white girl: ahhh!!
*killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
white girl: ahhh!!!
*white girl runs*
*dead end*
*hides*
*thinks she free n safe*
*guy catches her*
*cuts her*
*she dead*
opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D


(via heyitstafrey)


citizenpayney:

sharkchunks:

givemeinternet:

Bluest Fish I’ve Ever Seen

It seems aware of its blueness and unable to process it.

"How did someone see me?"

citizenpayney:

sharkchunks:

givemeinternet:

Bluest Fish I’ve Ever Seen

It seems aware of its blueness and unable to process it.

"How did someone see me?"

(via heyitstafrey)


passiveimagination:

My mom teaches Kindergarten and I went to her classroom a few days ago and saw what appeared to be a small shrine dedicated to Jodie Foster in the corner of the room and I had literally no idea why it was there, so I asked my mom about it and she said it’s where the kids can go to tattle on each other so they don’t always do it to her

So basically my mom tells her little Kindergarteners to tell on each other to a magazine clipping of Jodie Foster that they call Miss Tattle 

(via fingerblaster113)


fuckyeahpoppunktattoos:


Submitted by Bennie.

free hand hank the pigeon. got because wonder years help me cope with anxiety and everyday life problems. done by zach “budah” pruitt out of modern electric tattoo in bakersfield, ca. (no tumblr)

fuckyeahpoppunktattoos:

Submitted by Bennie.

free hand hank the pigeon. got because wonder years help me cope with anxiety and everyday life problems. done by zach “budah” pruitt out of modern electric tattoo in bakersfield, ca. (no tumblr)


neptunain:

obamacare BANNED all dog shampoo and now obama is in my home rubbing mud on my dog. he’s rubbing mud on my dog and laughing

(via robotbears)


j6:

demonicdorothy:

japanese dragon:

- long
- chill
- no wings
- legs
- moustache
- in the sea

chinese dragon:

- long
- p chill
- no wings
- legs often but not always
- impressive beard
- 9 is a big deal

european dragons:

- jerks
- breathing fire
- wings
- often actually a wyvern
- compulsive hoarding
- caves

slavic dragon:

- three fucking heads bro
- can you believe it
- wings and like
- 3 whole heads

leviathan:

- honestly probably just a whale and you should all chill 

American Dragon:

- jake long

(via heyitstafrey)


(via heyitstafrey)